Wednesday, March 5, 2008

7 Habits of highly ineffective people

Let's see. I'm not sure where to begin.

I haven't written in a little while because:

1) I got this bioterrorist plague from one of my room mates, and despite having had surgery, an infection, three migraines, and my heart torn out~THIS was actually this worst I have felt in years... Flu my ass... This stuff is lethal.

2) I lost one friend because I said she hurt my feelings.

3) I lost another friend because I said, despite having dated years back, and the fact that I am NOT hitting on her, I think she is pretty impressive and lovable. (I still got it! How have I ever dated ever? I am so awkward. Sorry again...)

4) There is another person that passive aggressively keeps telling me that I should be her friend.


5) I had a sweeping moments of sadness at the prospect of the local farmer's market starting back up in my neighborhood soon. My ex and I would walk over virtually every Saturday during the summer and pluck gorgeous organic finds to serve for the upcoming week. There was something so idyllic about those Saturdays. About the 2 block walk over, filled with hope and contentment~while we chose smaller potted veggies to try to plant our own garden. Cheesey metaphor aside~the gardens always failed, and the veggies never went very far. Seems about right ~ right about now...


6) I had to show a property for the property management company I run, and bumped into a friend of a friend. I had introduced myself with my new name, which then became increasingly awkward, as this woman said she was going to ask if my friend Sarah remembered me. (Sarah might not know my new name, and how awkward is that? Only slightly less awkward then when I drew a blank with this new woman asked what my last name is ~ so she could ask about to these other people. "Ummm. Warren." Riiight. Keep it together, yo...)

7) I was asked to be in a sociological study on trans folks, and received my first piece of mail with my new name on it. t was the release form for being in the study. I had to sign it with my new name~but I don't have a signature for it yet. So I looked like some third grader practicing my cursive, as the "w's" are way too perfected, and the rest looks like arse. Jeez. I am 12 years old...



On a side note: I picked up Eckhart Tolle's new book "A New Earth" that I was too horrified to buy in public. It's the new Oprah book, which I hate that I know... (I was given Tolle's first book by my best friend from high school~ Hilary, who got it for me when we both first moved to DC. She is a Buddhist who now lives on an Italian farm with her Italian husband, while they are into the slow food movement and teaching tai chi.)

Tolle's first book was called "The Power of Now" ~ a book my dad later stole from my old apartment, so I can't even remember what it was about... I was curious about this new book. But honestly, I was so embarrassed I went to a cheezeball lowbrow bookstore~where I NEVER shop, in order to pick it up, cuz I was so horrified that I'd be seen buying it. They were sold out. Apparently a lot of other people had the same brilliant idea, so I had to go elsewhere. I ended up going to the bourgie high brow political shop in town, and lolly gagged around for a while until someone "uncool" took over the register. How bad is that? I read the first few chapters, and it's surprisingly ironic that I had that drastic of a reaction to buying the book that is about learning how to free ourselves from our egos ~ from our thoughts that what what others think of us matter.... ironic, no?

There was a really interesting passage about how losing everything either makes us feel victimized and cling to our egos, and to our anger, bitterness and resentment, or it allows us to liberate ourselves, and yield to inner acceptance ~ becoming compassionate, wise and loving. And in that very sentiment, I felt like I saw so much of what I have already been learning. Yielding to what have been the biggest struggles.

Like trying to buy embarrassing self-help books in broad day light. Does it get tougher than THAT? Sheesh...

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